


Guilt

by Sgt_Krinkle



Category: System of a Down (Band)
Genre: Depression, Derj, Love, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 20:04:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17731757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sgt_Krinkle/pseuds/Sgt_Krinkle
Summary: After the tragic passing of Daron, Serj feels like it's all his fault.!!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!!Suicide/suicidal thoughts





	Guilt

This is a sad Derj story.

TRIGGER WARNING

!! Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts !!

 

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Pain.....all I feel is pain.......

Ever since Daron died in a car accident, all feel is pain....

And guilt.

It's all my fault Daron died.

If I could of only stopped him from going out to a bar.

Dammit, Serj! You fuck everything up!!

You could of fuckin' saved Daron, and he would still be here!!

I miss him so much.

His big, brown eyes, his chubby cheeks, his beautiful singing voice....just everything about him.

I spent countless nights crying and looking back at memories of Daron.

The fans, well, they're devastated.

A majority of them asked if I was okay, or if I can have strength.

They do care about us...

But guilt is building up inside of me like a soda that just been shaken up.

Guilt lead to a never ending train of emptiness.

Daron brought me happiness.....joy....comfort.....love.

And now it's all fucking gone!

My one true source of feelings.

ALL. GONE.

It's been a week since the death of Daron.

Shavo and John keep checking in on me.

Seeing if I would eat or sleep.

I didn't do either of those in the past week.

Maybe nibble on some crackers, but that's it.

"Bro, you need to eat and get some rest." Shavo told me.

"I-I can't. Daron and I did everything on that damn bed...." My eyes were bloodshot from crying so much and not sleeping.

"I know it's tough, man, but you'll get through it." 

"Shavo, I want to DIE! I just want to be with Daron!!!" My eyes began to water.

"Dude, everything will be alright!"

"No it fucking won't!!!" I curled up in a ball and cried.

"Serj, I know Daron meant a lot to you. He was like a brother to me, but you gotta stay strong." Shavo had a firm grip on my shoulder.

"I-I can't live without, Daron....he was my everything....we planned of getting married, having kids, growing old together...."

"I know, bro, I know."

Shavo is always there for me.

But today is different.

Today, I'll finally see Daron again.

I want to die.

I can't stand being away from Daron.

My poor baby....

Every memory of Daron is playing through my mind.

The day I met him, started System, asked him out, first kiss, first date, first time making love....everything.

I'm done....

Goodbye world....

I hope you remember me as a good man.

A man who doesn't have so much guilt built up inside of him.

A man who loved his boyfriend.

John and Shavo will be happier without me.

Sevag will now be mom's favorite.

The fans.....I will live on inside the hearts of all the fans....

I hope the name System Of A Down lives on.

I have the pill bottle in my hand.

My hands are shaking, my face is sweating, and I have the stuff ready to go meet my fate.

I....I'm going to see you again, Daron...my love.

I....I should write a note.

I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen....my suicide note....

Hello everyone, if you are reading this, this means I have killed myself. I cannot live without Daron. I must be with him....Shavo, if you're reading this, you were a brother to me. And John, if you are reading this, you were the best friend a man could ever want. And Sevag, I love you brother. I am sorry for what I have done.....goodbye.

I popped open the pill bottle and took 12 pills.

I waited for the pills to kick in.

No more pain.

No more guilt.

Goodbye world.

~~~~~~~

Breaking News: Lead singer of System Of A Down, Serj Tankian, has been found dead inside his home last night. Police says he died by overdosing on prescription pills

 

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So......that was a really depressing fic. But I hope you enjoyed it


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